[Paramount releases a 3-disc collectors edition of Junior with enhanced special effects]

Libertarians in 2012: We need to control inflation in the free market economy by reverting back to the gold standard.

Listen, as Shaquille O'Neal's legal representation, I'm asking you right now to cease and desist with your use of the trademarked "Funny Points" scale. That is the intellectual property of Shaq and we will pursue all legal avenues to prevent the unauthorized use of the "Funny Points"(tm) scale.

Also he hates Mondays now.

I honestly think Kanye West broke him. If you watch that clip you can see the realization dawning on him that nothing he'll ever do in the future could possibly be funnier than that moment.

Please let this be a feature length "Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life" video.

Ok

In my defense I didn't finish more than 40 minutes of the movie because it was fucking terrible.

They're gonna be pissed when they find out about Kangaroo Jack.

Petco Park is one of the best stadiums in all of baseball, so at least there's that.

Love me a good trainwreck movie. I started watching Nine Lives the other night and was loving it so much that I had to shut it off and save it for a group. I didn't even make it to Kevin Spacey actually turning into a cat, that movie just hits the fuckin' ground running.

I was interested in Boss Baby from the word "go" just because of the "WTF factor", but the end product is too bland to be interesting. I thought it was gonna be an honest to God trainwreck like Nine Lives and it disappointed.

I didn't get the whole controversy surrounding Ghost in the Shell until I watched it at work a month or two ago. Foreign movies get remade in America all the time, The Departed was an Americanized remake of Internal Affairs and nobody lost their shit over that.

FAKE BOOS

I was honestly considering booking plane tickets to see this at Radio City Music Hall but now you're just making me feel embarrassed.

FREEEEBIIIIIIIIIRD!!

Go outside.

Rimjobs can't melt steel beams!

Too long; eat a dick dumb shits!

Just put some ants in those eyes, you'll be fine.