Wait… you're saying this story is not real and that we shouldn't terrorize this pizza shop?

I'd like to bury something, anyway.

I dunno, I think I need 54 women to come forward with similar allegations before I start to believe this.

Well, this is good a reason as any to finally get my passport.

Honestly, this is a great idea for him. I'm not a plot 'n story kind of movie watcher, but Refn needs a tight structure to reign in his worst tendencies. I think that's what sunk Only God Forgives and The Neon Demon.

Why you gotta be ragging on dicks and bags like that?

Well he ain't wrong.

I love that movie… but come on, best of all time?

I don't have a horse in the race of whether or not this casting choice is whitewashing, but I'll fight a goddamn holy war against anybody who pronounces "GIF" as "JIF".

That's a shame, some of the best fetish porn these days can be found on Tumblr.

Is that what Dolby Atmos is for? Am I gonna need to upgrade to a goddamn 4K player and a new home theater system so I can properly hear this fuckin' boner?

I'm in, let's make this happen!

I mean, I'd rather see Spring Breakers than Iron Man 3, ya know?

YES EXACTLY!

Yeah, split right down the middle. Like a crack.

Are you trying to tell me that The Dark Knight isn't the most important film of all time?

Swiss Army Man had a middle of the road score and it was my favorite movie of 2016!

He's got a point. You ever try to get anybody to go see a movie that's hovering around 50-70% on Rotten Tomatoes? Like trying to fucking drill teeth with some people. There's a lot of idiots who just look at that number and go, "NOPE!" without reading any of the actual reviews and seeing if maybe, maybe, they might…

I hate Dave Matthews, but I love Phish. Go figure.

It's The Happening: Again!