That's what the guy from Men's Warehouse always says, and I don't trust him either!

My startup has just created a new app that takes video of cable news anchors and replaces their speech with fart sounds.

Do you remember her name she sounds hot

You know what they say about guys with small hands!

She's gonna be in the new Star Wars?! Goddammit, I had no interest in seeing that and now I have a lot of interest.

I have an obligation to throw my money at anything and everything that Laura Dern is in. I will be seeing this.

Yes, Blotto Bros wine, sensibly priced at $1 a jug. Now watch as I make this jug disappear!

This is like a Bojack Horseman tangent.

Blackpill: we looked at an overcrowded and saturated market and said, "Hey, me too!"

You mean Skeletor?

Thx, Hnx

I used to live with a girl who would make tea, drink half of it, decide she couldn't finish it, and stick the other half into the fridge to inevitably be knocked over by whoever next went in there.

Did you all know Pras made a documentary where he lived on Skid Row as a homeless person for a week? It's on Amazon Prime. I was wicked excited to watch it but then I quickly realized, "Oh, this is just a vanity project" and I shut it off.

Dude, don't talk shit about the LAPD, they'll shoot your dog.

Wow, posted within seconds of each other. Get out of my brain!

"Hey, remember that thing you like? Here it is again, but worse!" ~ Amazon Prime

I was really into this podcast until it quickly became apparent that it was created and fueled by a complete fame whore. Fuck that guy.

Thanks a lot, Kraftwerk!

The Irish are subhuman, filthy job-stealing potato mongers.

It's actually spelled "dago", you stupid wop.