LAND IS A PHENOMENAL MOVIE

Well if you've got a better alternative that doesn't involve thinking, I'd like to hear it!

If it gets Florida to turn blue, I'm pro-death panels all the way.

If this means I have to give up pizza, I want no part of it!

You got a problem with a shared economy, pal? Now why don't you share me some of that sandwich you got there!

Good, so everything is all fixed now!

Wouldn't you know it, they've got a fish in the percolator!

I prefer my college years now that I'm well into adulthood.

"Braaawwwk, it's a living!" ~ Alex Jones

That's the joke.

"You've got a huge vagina, and you're going around blaming small penises, and it's just not necessary!" ~ Donald Trump during the second televised Presidential Debate

Are they talking about the food or Trump's wig?

I doubt Trump even has good taste in music. Remember Bill's inauguration? He got Soul Asylum!

And even that's not as bad as Trump's Authentic Jerk Sauce.

Trump/Pence 2020: A Fistful of Pussy

I got one of those fancy 4k Sony Android TVs and put the Roku in retirement… and I might have to bust it back out because Android TV sucks. This TV's OS is more unstable than Kim Jong Un.

Arriving Now

He's going to be pissed when he launches a new website and learns that MoveOn.org is already a registered domain.

Real talk: I finally caved and got Amazon Prime, and I think this will be the thing that singlehandedly puts me into financial ruin.

Yes, but on the bright side: shorter lines at the Barnes & Noble!