Well there’s also no aide or insurance for all the farmers that were just devastated by that massive flooding in the mid-west, but I don’t see him jumping in to do jack shit about that at all!

I’ll send you some, we got plenty. But I’ll get them from the central part of the state, the ones down around Mar a Lago are really bitter, gross and shriveled on the inside.

Teresa May should be free soon, maybe she can do it.

Do they have the Hapsburg chin? Oh wait, sorry, the Trumps don’t have chins (except the one Ivanka bought).

I really think we should be friends.

I actually like tonic water, but only in small doses. I like to mix with La Croix or fresh citrus, which fortunately where I’m from is plentiful. But yes, frozen berries or grapes are also a great way to go.

I’m toasting you with my glass of chardonnay right now, with a cigarette in my other hand, and my back up bottle of Tito’s in the cupboard.

She sounds beyond fabulous! I bet you’re quite the chip of the ol’ block babe.

When I first moved to Naples, FL in ‘93 on Sunday nights there was this big outdoor party at the Naples Beach Club with a live band, and dancing by the pool overlooking the beach, it was awesome. It was also where I first came face to face with some reeeeeeally not good plastic surgery. Naples was just starting to…

I’ve already been banned once so what the fuck? I’m so sick of the “OMG Let’s SLAM ALL WOMEN ALWAYS for not being exactly what we mean, but I’m trying to be SO progressive and this white woman that’s trying to help, LOL right? But like don’t get mad at us okay?” Bullshit. Try to bring light to a situation? Oh well,…

Do you not know how to use a towel? Now I have to wonder. I’m a 45 year old woman, and the last few guys I dated are hopeless at self hygiene much less home care. Do you all just not know how to dry yourselves properly? Or know how to wash or dry anything properly?

I keep thinking I need to start using my office gym, then something like this happens: Last week we had a carnival where there was a dunk tank, and it was mostly the executives and long term employees that volunteered to be dunked because we’re the people most people want to dunk. I had changed in a stall in the…

Long time fan, and I found that the most fascinating part of your war involves family. The man that I almost married, and thankfully did not, had a mother who did a similar thing! He was the youngest child and only son of a horrifically food passive aggressive mother. I’d have blamed the problem on wanting to run me…

I live in fear of having to shit in public restrooms, but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen and love your metaphor!

I always left shift, and I was taught to type/type on typewriters. At first I started wondering.... maybe typewriters didn’t have right shift keys and that’s why. However! I have 1936 Remington typewriter (I love them) and went to investigate, I was sort of shocked that it does have a right shift key. Also when I came…

Sorry, I was slow on the uptake on that one. 

Wildly underrated post!

What is up with the structure of your post? Why is every sentence a separate line? Do you not know how to write? Shit this was weird, at first I thought it was going to be a Haiku or poem.

They’re fucking everywhere, including flying loser traitor flags in Upstate New York, Montana, Utah etc.

People like this bother me so much. I’m not 1% ‘wealthy’ by any stretch, but I’m not hurting. And I do a ton of work with non-profits and NGOs. I’m tasked with generally shmoozing the truly wealthy to get them to donate buckets of money. Most of these people are happy to do so, and honestly on a percentage of income…