The Young and the Restless (and its spin-off The Bold and the Beautiful) were one of those weird television addictions in the 1990s that doubled as a rare chance for my mother and I to bond over a common interest. We actually cared about this dopey soap opera and its dramatic twists and turns. We eventually lost…

Now I wish I had something mean to say to this woman I don't know. Uh, if I sent a mean tweet to Bill Maher instead, would she add fifty cents to the total? I really can't stand Bill Maher. 

Paper tigers for sure. They could be literally any pop rock band without the make up.

I also hope that Trump’s failure will demonstrate the folly of every dumbass at the bar who downs five beers and suddenly thinks he’s got all the answers to America’s problems. You don’t. That epiphany of yours is just the result of your blood alcohol rising. Everything that seems so brilliant to you when you’re drunk…

Please, no meat-touching, ma’am!

All I know is that Gex worked on some of the worst Simpsons episodes. I’m not exactly crying an ocean of tears over the cancellation of a show created by him.

I can’t wait to see him use his suction cup hands to extract plasma from his victims! 

Uh oh. I remember they started screwing around with George Lopez's time slot before they cut him loose entirely. This feels like desperation on TBS's part, and will most likely be a prelude to the show ending. 

I could probably come up with better examples if I spent a lot of time thinking about it, but I remember getting really excited watching a Three Stooges re-run on cable and realizing that Larry sounded almost just like Stimpy from the then new, then untainted by scandal Ren and Stimpy cartoon.

Can’t believe anyone listens to a slimeball like Dinesh De WifeBeater.

Still the best Ren and Stimpy clone ever made. Hillenburg was the one person who understood what made this show tick, and without him, it will almost certainly suffer. (Just like it had for the decade he retired from it.)

So you could say he’s trying to, heh, vaccinate these individuals from criticism.

Here’s how I describe it: “Lion King, now with lifelike animals for the imagination-impaired!”

I just love how Mark “Dude, Where’s My Puberty?” Zuckerberg casts himself as a criticism-proof pillar of the Jewish community, while taking anti-Semitic swipes at Jewish folks who don’t like his shitty social network. Maybe they should call it Two-Facebook.

This was a CRITIQUE?! None of my friends seemed to think so. They described it as Doctor Who blowing up a terrorist with bubble wrap so Amazon could continue sending merchandise and its employees could continue peeing in empty soda bottles rather than having dignified bathroom breaks.

If he gets any older, he’ll be taking over for Claude Akins. “I’m Johnny Depp for Dentugrip!”

I don’t regret watching it in theaters. I don’t regret that there won’t be any sequels, either. Internet whiners poisoned the well on that film (as was mentioned in this article, time and time again), but objectively, it was only okay. Cameos from the surviving Ghostbusters cast was a highlight, and Kate McKinnon made…

My Fire 8 has been drinking down its battery in great big gulps, and I haven’t figured out why. It’s only a few months old! What the heck?!

My Fire 8 has been drinking down its battery in great big gulps, and I haven’t figured out why. It’s only a few…

Always happy to see Colbert pick up a ratings win. I do not like Jimmy Fallon, although it’s a mere distaste compared to the overwhelming contempt I have for his big-chinned predecessor.

Gotta be honest, man, I was not expecting positive reviews for this one. I know, I should have had more faith in the Futurama writer who helped create this franchise, but still, I saw the previews and thought to myself, “This is gonna be The Emoji Movie with Disney branding.” Glad (but bewildered) that this assumption…