Some thoughts:

Wow.

Counterpoint: Fuck off back to Boston.

Reading this column made me depressed. Not because of the subject matter, but because you just sound like a miserable person. Maybe take a break from sports and politics and go find something that makes you happy.

Fuck this. My boss is an actual Nationals fan. Grew up in northern Virginia, jumped on board when they moved into town. And he’s actually one of those nice bosses (I know that’s rare these days).

Sounds like you are just upset it’s not Red Sox vs. Nationals.

So I am speaking from long experience when I say that the Washington bandwagon is very likely to be the most insufferable one ever to come rolling down the pike.

“Look, I’m from Boston...”

On behalf of all the Nationals fans and the residents of the District of Columbia, I invite you to kick rocks, you bitter, angry hack. 

I like it. Insufferable Boston fan preemptively whines that another fan base may be insufferable. It’s an anticipatory self-defense: in case Washington fans are bad, don’t forget who real worst fans are.

“Look, I’m from Boston...”

I haven’t been this disappointed in Houston since Mike Jones changed his phone number.

Abandon them. Turn it into hate. Root for the Nationals, the Capitals, the Wizards, United, and the Mystics. Root for everything to go wrong for the other major team in your district.

Spanfucker and his cronies are jacking each other off on their cocaine cruise while draining G/O’s coffers with outrageous salaries. When they’ve finally milked it (and themselves) they’ll all buy new underwear and look for their next victim. These are vile, hateful, greedy people who don’t give a shit about anything…

The curse of Brandon Taubman is a real bitch. 

Baby Shark do doo dooo doooo dooooo dooo doooo 

Thank god they got Osuna

Well, Thank God they got Osuna!

If his grouping is like his strike zone, we have nothing to worry about. Dude’s a storm trooper.

If Anibal Sanchez can continue to look like an ace, the Nats may have a shot.