So, having viewed this replay now, Tom Wilson is suspended for 3 games, right?

He came in through the bathroom, Winslow
Protected by a silver spoon
But now he soldiers on and wanders
By the mobile homes of her own lagoon

Too bad, this was the most entertaining thing in rap in the last few years. Drake got buried and it must really hurt him, since he will always be a chart topper but the one thing he wants most is the respect of the hardcore crowd. He is dead to the scene now. Pusha was always a rapper’s rapper. Too bad Drake’s camp…

I like this idea because it means the Cavs will have transitively traded Lebron for Isaiah Thomas.

Gotta say, escaping Cleveland only to be traded back seems like the kind of thing that would happen on a flat Earth.

psssssssssssst. He was being facetious.

Nobody’s letting facts get in the way of their performative boredom today.

I feel like I just woke up in an alternate reality with some of the takes I’ve been seeing. It’s like that series never happened

Why are we pretending they weren’t just down 3-2 to the Rockets? The Finals was ALWAYS going to be bad because the East is bad.

So Much Herb: My Night Among Joyous And Stoned Dubs Fans

My one (big) problem with this attitude is that it belittles how thrilling this season was. Houston’s ascent, Utah’s development, Boston’s development, there is a ton of talent in the league. And this year’s finals was about as exciting as... every finals in the early aughts! Are we really lamenting the loss of…

Ovechkin is going to take the Cup to Russia so Putin can blatantly steal it in front of everyone, so we should all start preparing for the inevitable Russo-Canadian War of 2018.

This is the part that gets me. I never have to feel like the worst is coming any more. I never have to wait for that other shoe to drop. Sure, maybe they’ll lose — but I don’t have to EXPECT it and panic at the first sign of trouble. And when they do lose in the playoffs in years future, I can always shrug and…

CONSIDER THE BRO
And Other Essays
by Drew Magary

“I don’t do crack.”

I truthfully feel physically lighter today. The Caps winning the Cup has lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders and freed me from the perpetual cycle of disappointment that has come with being a DC sports fan.

Christ. First the Eagles, now the Caps. What other long-suffering fanbase is going to win next?

Would’ve been better if it was just a montage of me giving the finger to every Canadian hockey analyst who shit on Ovechkin and the Caps for terrible reasons for the past decade.

I almost paced a hole in my floor, and then I cried with such relief and joy. ALL FUCKING CAPS!!!

(and for real, like it wasn’t dramatic enough without the clock issue? I was clutching my 15 year old in a panic haha)

I know things look promising right now, but Caps fans know there’s still an opportunity to blow this.