Jesus christ, shut the fuck up.

That, and the fact that these are machines DESIGNED TO LIFT OFF THE GROUND with air moving past them?

None of you excitable desk jockeys would have read this if it wasn't in 8-bit web comic format.

"You're my favorite person today."

So hit the star button like everyone else.

LISSUN HEAR MAN. We dont come to ur sports blog for all this foreign shit. S'bad enough you talked soccer for a month. Now this?

No, I don't think that YOU do.

You just won the "Jezebel Stereotype Reader" award! Congratulations!

Correlation = TOTAL UNDENIABLE CAUSATION!

What are you all, eight? Who watches a home run derby? Turn nine and you can graduate to the Slam Dunk contest for 24 months.

You're making fun of people in your head. No one said anything offensive. You did.

Yes and no. Unfortunately for the representative on the phone, he is actively encouraged to say precisely those things.

Thank you. The "EPIC LOLZ FTW" corners of the Internet seem to be leaking.

So you didn't address the point in any way, and just typed a paragraph projecting "rage" where I have none.

I've seen zero. The only person to suggest this offensive thing has been you.

Your condemnation of what two consenting adults are doing is amazing.

She isn't a fan of the character and wasn't planning on watching the show anyway. That's why. She said so.

That's precisely what they do. This generation has found themselves unable to communicate in their native language, so they've compiled a folder of other humans' words/emotive expressions to convey feelings.

No, I didn't. Telling someone that their presumptions are ludicrous does not constitute even the slightest say over what someone watches. That is a fucking stupid thing to say.

Hey, thanks for being fair!