Theroux wasn’t at Aniston’s party that day because he was busy buying cheese at Citarella in the Village. Eyewitness.

Fuck! I met pops Maroney  when my pops was trying to sell a painting at Christie’s! Then we went to the Russian tea room! ( not maroney)

I sort of ship them.

They fell for each other and it’s super obvious.

I was talking more from Gaga’s end, actually.  But in any case, there is something there whether they realize it or not.

yeah, Bradley was practically drooling over Gaga on Colbert last Thursday. They showed a clip from the movie, and all Bradley could talk about was how great She was.

I don’t know if he’ll leave Irina, but it’s been super-weird to see how they speak about each other in interviews and how they look at each other, and no one was supposed to say anything.

Gaga gets with Cooper. I’m calling it. 

Malia is cool, read all about it!

Pete Davidson’s five second long contribution to Update is the only thing that made me laugh.

I’ve held off on saying this because I don’t want to be that guy, but I guess I will be...the show’s Chuck Schumer impression seems awfully anti-Semitic. Like, Moffat basically just plays Schumer as a string of Jewish stereotypes. I honestly find it pretty uncomfortable.

Counterpoint: Baldwin is the perfect guy to do Trump. Neither one thought they’d be doing this after November 2016, they can’t wait to leave their current gig, and all but their most hardcore fans are tired of them and want it to stop. 

We’ve literally been saying that for years here. #cancelJost was a thing on this site the first time he appeared onscreen with Cecily Strong at the Update desk. You think he’s bad now? Try watching his first couple seasons when he was a black hole of comedy from which no laughs escaped. He’s gotten way better but he’s…

God, Colin Jost is a bootlicking piece of shit. If he thinks the company that makes their workers piss in bottles isn’t that bad than maybe he should go work there.

As soon as I saw Alec Baldwin I zoned out and never really made it back to the episode, but it’s nice to know from the clips that Kate McKinnon still can’t play Nancy Pelosi.

I read a blind somewhere that most rags (that are not Us Weekly or People) allow 2 degrees of desperation for published “sources” (i. e. friend of a friend)

Is anyone else getting Carolyn Bessette Kennedy vibes from that photo of Hailey Baldwin? The smoothed-back hair, strong lip, and somber expression are very reminiscent.

I’ve been updating all afternoon waiting for the glory of Midweek Madness. I’ve just...sniff...missed it so much!!!

My poor partner had to listen to me workshop that joke for a whole 10 minutes.

“If I had a nickel for every person I overheard discussing these two, I’d have more cheap idioms than nickels.”