That Purple Rain house better have a brass waterbed.

I toss my piss bottles out the car window, but only because I’m trying to extinguish the cigarettes that other drivers throw out their windows.

“Dwayne Johnson (hereafter refer to as ‘The Rock’) will be limited to handing off a maximum of 2 bottles of his urine during a rolling 24 hour period.”

Oh, also, The Rock apparently pees in water bottles to save time and possibly hands his urine bottles off to assistants or PAs to deal with, but that was already sort of public knowledge?

Scrappy Doo: All the puppy power in the world can’t hide the fact that no one likes me... (breaks down crying)

His last name is Smallbone? They should’ve called it Unhung Hero instead.

I’ll take “Movies that will bomb horribly for $100, Alex”.

I may be stretching the definition of the word “great” here, but where the fuck is Toto’s rockin’ Dune score?

I think it was a brilliant business and creative decision to cancel Young Sheldon. Bravo, CBS! Bravo!

I’d like to think he’ll be forever plunged like a french fry in deep-fryers of Hell.

My favorite Pearl Jam songs:

35 writers, damn.

Whoever they cast, I can’t wait to be disappointed by the next film regardless.

First he rips off Star Wars, now he’s ripping off The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy...

He probably watched The Critic and realized this story has been told already.

The Toronto Raptors tried the same thing in 1996 with Michael Jordan, except they had to settle for the old couple from the “It’s Patrick! He took out life insurance” commercial.

Didn’t work out.

I’ve never seen the original. Is it worth viewing nowadays?

*from off-screen, a misshapen hand with eleven fingers gives Reese Witherspoon a bag with a dollar sign on it*

The First Omen, No, Not the One From the 70s, the New One, No, Not the 2006 One

That reminds me of the time I was working as a crew member on another Bill Paxton movie, Twister. Everyone ended up tripping balls because the lobster chowder was spiked with angel dus- HEY WAIT A MINUTE!