Inter-title Card: A SIGN OF ALCOHOLISM

At a certain point, movie studios will have to stop blaming every weak opening on a hurricane, tornado, typhoon, or dust devil.

When is he going to admit this is just a stealth sequel to Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2?

That asshole ripped off my song “Comparatively Well-off Men West of Comparativelywelloffmond”!!

Here’s the headline, boys: Blue Beet’ Beats Barbie at BO

Amazon: Won’t someone PLEASE think of the corporations worth over $460 billion!!

It was a 30 Rock recap where Nathan thought Alec Baldwin’s character slipped some pills into Tracy Morgan’s jellybeans:

Yeah but that’s true of every article.

Gentlemen, I think we’ve found Sam Barsanti’s “jellybeans”.

“He’s in it for the money, not the contorting then falling over to raucous laughter.”

In my day, it took an entire year for a movie to hit VHS and we hated liked it!

Now I want to see Margot Robbie basically play Jack Nicholson in those Batman interviews, but for Barbie:

Ah well. It’s too bad we won’t get to see Elon Musk’s face get rearranged like a Mr. Potato Head.

I think Last Voyage of the Demeter would’ve done better if it featured Frankenstein instead of Dracula. Just imagine 90 hilarious minutes of Frankenstein constantly falling down because the ship is wet and always moving and he’s not that great at walking.

Will contestants be allowed to use “Wot” during Final Jeopardy?

“I’m sorry for kissing a man, Malaysia. Here’s your $2.7 million.”

In the music video for “Anti-Hero”, if you convert her eye-blinks to morse code, she admits to being the second gunman.

“THRRRRRPPPPPPPT (Taylor’s Version)“

“Turn the page, bite the apple, and sink your teeth into the most deliciously compelling and addictive books you’ll read all year.”

Even as far back as Cool Spot, I was 100% convinced David Perry would try to start a war with artificial intelligence.