Oh great, some asshole bent my copy of Choplifter!

Sorry, I Had a Concussion, Remind Me Again What You Did Last Summer

Big deal. When I was 17, I was watching movies.

Yeah, I didn’t like it when they had Costner’s character fall into a vat of toxic waste and gain superpowers, but I’ll give them credit for trying something new.

Hundreds - the story of a diverse group of twenty and thirtysomethings who’ve just received their tax refund.

I’ve been unfortunate enough to see a movie from the front row and it was such an awful experience. Couldn’t make much sense of what was going on because of the angle and my neck was sore the entire time. 10/10 experience, would recommend.

...Avatar: The Way Of Water...has made over $630 million in the U.S. alone...

Does Armie Hammer’s morning routine include getting sandblasted in the face?

I’ll send her what I send all celebrities on Instagram: crude drawings done in crayon of me having sex with Mitch Pileggi.

Although I don’t generally like to see people lose their jobs, I think Post’s marketing dept and legal team need to be fired.

I’m sorry, but you can’t feature characters like Wario and then turn away patrons who might be a little heavy, ugly, or horrendously flatulent.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!

BWAA!!

Paramount Plus (feat. Showtime)

I think rom-coms would be better received nowadays if they featured tons and tons of hardcore nudity and guns and explosions, and also you win prizes just for watching.

Avatar: The Way Of Water continues to be a testament to the genius of the greatest filmmaker of all-time, Mr. James Cameron. And unlike others here who limit their worship to mere praise, I am proud to admit that I would suck James Cameron off if given the chance. His films are THAT GOOD.

If it’s wrong to become sexually aroused by James Cameron’s success at the box office, then I don’t want to be right.

*desperately trying to hide any hint of disappointment* Oh, a Home Improvement video game! Thanks, Grandma!

Apropos of nothing, here’s Tobey Maguire playing Atari Lynx on the shitter:

To help today’s increasingly selective audiences, I think all movies should indicate whether or not they’re “A Knives Out Mystery”. For example: