Damn, even Stephen Malkmus is on this list.

I’m so glad the weekend’s here. Time to kick back, get stoned, and leave Celine Dion off my own list of the 200 Greatest Singers of All Time.

*rocks back and forth in a corner* This isn’t happening... this isn’t happening...

I’ll be honest, I fell victim to the gambler’s fallacy and bet everything I had on the belief that James Cameron is due for a box office bomb. Even though I lost a lot of money, I remain positive. In fact, I’m 100% positive that the gambler’s fallacy will be wrong next time around, and I will once again bet everything…

Look, there are just too many enormous, bald, former wrestler guys on the big screen these days, and audiences have decided they’ve had enough!

Avatar 1: Earth
Avatar 3: Fire
Avatar 4: Wind
Avatar 2: Water
Avatar 5: Heart

Way to go, Zazlav. You’ve severely harmed your company’s branding for the foreseeable future but at least you’ve saved $43.75 in server costs.

You’re thinking of Yellowstone B.C., in which Og Dutton opposes those seek to take control of his acres of dirt and rocks. It’s a tough job but as his trash compactor might say, “Hey, it’s a living!”

This show is five seasons in and they still haven’t used the title “Much Ado About Dutton” for one of their episodes?

*grumbles* Yeah, well, the NEXT one is going to bomb horribly!

I know what Dave Bautista looks like!

Dave Bautista is not that intimidating. If he walked up to me and insisted that one person in my family needed to die to save the world, I’d simply pick him up, roll him into the shape of a bowling ball, and bowl him into the nearby trees.

Fuck, I can see that happening and that’s incredibly depressing to think about.

Oh I know, I’m just making an old AV Club joke. But it’s been around since I was a kid - I remember watching movies on Starz on our old Primestar satellite dish back in the mid 90s.

I’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and ask a question that has bothered me for decades:

I thought it was hilarious that this song became so big in the last year that my local alternative station was forced to it play it. Normally their rotation consists of recent rock hits and the same five or six grunge songs from the 90s, so to hear something five years older than their oldest song (“Smells Like Teen…

How come no one has challenged my trademark for “Filthy Whore of Christmas”?

That reminds me, I haven’t played Tetris Attack in ages.

I’m embarrassed to admit that after I saw the movie, I went out and bought an F-35 Lightning II. My wife was pissed to say the least.

Can we do the same thing with movie posters? I was tricked into buying a ticket for Bulworth because the poster promised a little hip-hop guy emerging from Warren Beatty’s mouth.