I once tried to pitch a sequel to Scarface by doing a mountain of coke in the meeting. Unfortunately, I OD’d and the executives took their sweet time to call 911 as revenge for snorting it all up.

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Yeah, but what was the name of the show and in what role?

I think they should bring back Sean Connery. Kids will want to see the original James Bond.

The Max Headroom pirate is still at large, and yet, they’re more concerned about Hot Wheels commercials airing during Hot Wheels.

C’mon, 50 Cent, just admit you got the surgery. There’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Hell, I got it back in April and now the damn thing’s so long I keep tripping over it. It’s amazing!

I hope Avatar 2 bombs so hard that they kick James Cameron out of Hollywood for it, and he’s forced to re-imagine Avatar 3 as a puppet show made with cardboard sets, Elmer’s glue, and old socks which he performs in the parking lot of the Nevada State Fair.

Look, I don’t get paid very well to correct some typos then create other typos. In fact, I don’t get paid at all. I do it for the love of it. And I won’t have you shame me for it.

It’s called proofreading, duh.

“mesiah delusion,” —> “messiah dellussion,”

Damn, longest time I spent on the throne was 2 hours. She must’ve been constipated as all get-out.

I hope this ends up being the textbook example of Occam’s Razor in action.

So happy this show has returned.

I’m so happy to see Kenan’s finally forgiven Kel for dropping the screw in the tuna.

...The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild is the best game Nintendo has ever released that isn’t Kirby Super Star (the best game ever made)...

I still think Avatar 2: Cameron’s Folly would’ve been a better title.

“...so I can crash it.”

“THIS AIN’T YOUR FATHER’S WILLOW!”

No bishop with an erection, no sale.

In retrospect, it was probably a mistake to tie this show to a hypergenarian.