In fairness, it is a very likable duck.

all chaps are assless! 

So all this time my wife has been trying to pass a drug test?

Duck auto-correct strikes again

I had no idea that Troy Aikman has a CDL.

Who wants nuance and actually paying attention to the text of a movie when you have an opportunity to complain about gender politics, though?

You and your context.

Avengers: Age of Ultron introduced the deeply troubling, reductive idea that Black Widow saw herself as a monster because of the Red Room procedure that rendered her sterile (though some debate this).

It’s easier to forgive the pomp and circumstance when you realize this is Russ’s fourth playoff game win since Durant left. 

Concerned about maintaining a passionate fan base in a city or region with little to no professional soccer history?

This would require Billy to have even a rudimentary knowledge of American soccer.

“Concerned about maintaining a passionate fan base in a city or region with little to no professional soccer history?”

Jesus Christ can Deadspin please find someone else to talk about MLS? Someone who acknowledges the domestic league doesn’t have a 100 year headstart? Someone who has the self-awareness to recognize whining about rich people starting teams in MLS while pumping up the euro leagues is a trash take? Sorry the MLS isn’t…

In private?

But then how could they connect it to Bill Simmons, the guy who did not write the article they object to, but who also really, really must drive clicks.

Darren’s just trying to wrap up the Deadspin Worst Tweet of 2019 award in record time.

Mike Francesa gave his blessing and will serve as the Best Man:

Alex Rodriguez marrying JLo quite possibly completes the greatest personal brand comeback story we’ve ever seen.

Did he book Jenny’s Sweet Sixteen party on the same night as the Wilson’s 50th anniversary party?

Holy shit! Even David Carradine wouldn’t be caught dead with that belt on.