Will your mom adopt me? I won’t even ask to borrow the beach house.

Let the woman have her quiet protest of reading. If she not actively trying to hurt people, let it go.

I don’t get why a thrift store charging more for clothing with tags still on is eyeroll-worthy.

“As I mentioned earlier, if people did the math, they’d figure out that...” having a house of our own, on 15 1/2 acres of pasture land (that we lease out to the owners of 10 head of cattle, and two horses), a pond, two dogs, and one neighbor makes us being an IT professional and a Financial Analyst by day very much…

She looks like another victim of The Great Fucks Famine of 2015.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I got super excited about buying a new pair of fuzzy socks yesterday, and I’m not even sorry. Now if the perfect woman thing would happen...fingers crossed for you!

You made me giggle. Also, if the pizza place had St. Bernard delivery dogs, I’d totally order pizza during blizzards.

What you mean is, “EmpressConstancepants can afford to buy a new winter coat in November instead of limping through the cold weather until stuff goes on sale in February.” Seriously, aside from the fact that global climate change will destroy the world I should be leaving for my grandchildren, it was pretty nice…

Call me superstitious but it’s articles like these that are going to curse us come January. I can see it now. Now one is buying warm clothing and coats thinking, “Hah! This warm weather streak is never going to end.” And then BAM! Non-stop snow. Snow so deep you can lose toddlers in them. Snow so deep your pizza…

My friend has a 1.5 year old, and a woman whose kid goes to the same daycare invited my friend out for “Christmas shopping and crafting” My friend asked what that was, and the mom goes, “Oh, a bunch of us spend the afternoon doing all our Christmas shopping for the kids at Target and Toys R Us and then we go to…

The writing on that one is the BEST. I lost it at fleeing the great Fucks Famine of 2015.

Sometimes in the winter, I wear two pair! I cannot sleep with cold feet, and fortunately for me, my ldr finds my socks oddly erotic. Or so she told me, but you never know; she could have been saying that to make me feel better....hmmmmmm.

My requirements/deal breakers changed as I aged. In my teens, I just wanted a good kisser who had a car, could manage to obtain Boone’s Farm, and was at least a top placer in local surfing competitions. In my 20s, I wanted a guy with a decent job, who worked out and understood my workout schedule, who had a big dick…