I literally did this last night. Got totally naked and I changed my mind. And you know what happened? I did not get raped. That dudes brain stayed firmly in his skull, and he got me an ice cream sandwich and we drank beers in my bed. No has the same meaning with or without panties. Slow your roll Dr. Ruth.

when that part of the male anatomy is aroused and there’s an erection, the brain flies out of that and we have to take that very seriously,

Dr Ruth????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This saddens me so much.

I am only into summer if the temperature never goes above 80 and there’s always a nice breeze.

I read Aleve is good for ulcer pain tho.

I’m convinced Jesus is real, because there is no way double sided sticky tape is that powerful. That tape had some footprint on the sand moments where sometimes they were both holding kim’s boobs, and sometimes the tape faltered, and that's when Jesus carried Kim's boobs.

My only takeaway from this is that I really, really want to see Maria Abramovic deliver a powerpoint presentation.

I’m extremely conflicted about that scene.

It’s kinda adorable that they had Kendell and Kylie introduce him. Alas, the censorship really does make it unlistenable. :/

I make that same noise when I run out of salsa, but still have chips in the bowl.

Flowers understand me, at least.

Marijuana, alcohol, I'm very healthy.

8 years ago today I was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer at the age of twenty. Today I’m alive, healthy, and thriving. So fucking thankful.

A former President makes more money per speech than a former Sec. of State. Shocking.

Considering he was President and she wasn’t yet, I’m kinda surprised it’s as close as it is. Even though she IS a superb speaker.

I don’t buy it. Unless you can show me that Foreign National A gave $2 million dollars and therefore got Favor Y, it isn’t a thing. There needs to be a real, provable link and there isn’t.

Mom?

I want a shirt that says “fuck your tea kettle warmer.”