Black? Those kettles & pots can't be black! They're Republican!!!

And these are the worst Wheel of Fortune contestants ever!

Yeah okay bro'hemian.

awesome. Also, I feel proud of myself for correctly remembering my pronouns. I am going to treat myself with a glass of chocolate milk in my tornado mixer.

UPDATE: I PEED

Yes, he's back and charming but will he prosecute Cheney or Bush? No. Will he finally prosecute bankers? No. Will he go after the District Attorney who willing put a lying witness on the stand? No. Obama concedes so much that it's frustrating, but here we go again, showing off that charisma but no balls.

I like this "whatever, I do what I want" Obama. He so clearly doesn't give a shit anymore, in the best of ways.

i am sorry, but i don't understand your 1st sentence

I totally understand how Madonna feels. I dropped my pen today and was a little sore from yesterday's workout. Picking it up involved an ordeal the likes of which nobody can truly understand (especially not men, who are scientifically proven to be shitty at empathy). I now understand what it's like to be the victim of…

Thanks! For a minute I was like "TELL ME MORE ABOUT THESE LOW MAINTENANCE PANTS!"

Nothing to see here, folks! *slinks out the back door*

Yes you did. And yes you should.

Well you've certainly come to the right place to be judged for your personal parenting choices. Have a seat; someone will be right with you!

Wait, he's been a fan longer than *you've* been alive? Are you 7?

I know that this is an exclusive, but I would love to hear more from Randi on Jezebel's pages. She's one of my ever-dwindling numbers of heroines.

I've watched this movie three times already just to get depressed and cry while I've been sick. The movie isn't even that great (Juliane Moore is), but give me any depressing story about an academic and I'm there.

I think we need to focus less on the fart and more on the idiot who isn't getting a flu shot.

In a lot of companies, that's a signal that you're not a team player.

OMG, this: