Oh Josh, you naive beautiful starfish. Go ahead and sing all the Kanye tweets you want - I’ll always love you, no matter what.

That ghost had passive aggression down to an art: “Dear Firmin, just a brief reminder / My salary has not been paid / Send it care of the ghost by return of post / P.T.O / No one likes a debtor so it’s better if my orders are obeyed.”

Oh oh, I’m listening to it now and I just remembered: “Burr, you disgust me / Oh, so you’ve discussed me? / I’m a trust fund baby, you can trust me”

Personally I prefer “filthily plebeian”, but I am very particular about my adjectives.

It’s not the cleverest rhyme, but my absolute favourite lines of my favourite song are “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal / And when I meet Thomas Jefferson imma compel him to include women in the sequel / WERK”.

I'd never heard of him before either, but I just googled him and DAYUM GIRL.

The Oscar voters aren’t the only problem, though I do agree there were many great performances by POC this year that should have been recognised. But there are bigger problems - you can’t get nominated if you don’t get cast in the first place. These nominations are a symptom of the lack of opportunities for POC in all…

“BYEEE BYEEEE L’IL SEBASTIAN...”

I think I always assumed Christian Bale was a secret gay.

1. I only just realised Jemima Kirke was not in Gone Girl.

Seriously though, Hamilton is brilliant.

Yes, it’s marginally less cold when you’re submerged to the neck in flood water. Less wind chill.

It was even warmer than 7C up until recently. It’s usually around 0 this time of year, plus us northern gals are made of iron, spit and that fur Jon Snow always wears.

Oh, Manchester - finally the world sees the dark underbelly of my beloved hometown. I’m rather protective, so I have to say this is only two streets in the whole city. However, I’ll admit even Hieronymus Bosch couldn't do this shit justice. Gross.

The Printworks is both terrifyingly disgusting and mediocre. And why is it so expensive?! Though it is the ideal place to go if you fancy writhing to Iggy Azalea with a pair of single mums, a plumber and a bunch of call centre workers.

Fellow Mancunian here. My response: “Why is this news? Looks like a normal Thursday night to me.”

It’s been unusually warm in the UK recently. I haven’t even got my winter coat out yet.

Definitely yoga. Doesn’t burn that many calories, but will improve your muscle tone and core strength - which should in turn alleviate issues that stem from imbalances or bad posture. Increasing the strength in the muscles around your knees might also help with the pain (helped my runners’ knee).

OK, I assume they’re trying to say that kids should aspire to become people who contribute to the betterment of humanity. But why is ‘artist’ the bad thing we want them to avoid? Surely it should be ‘Kardashian’ or ‘hedge fund manager’.

The photo of the President hugging Joe Biden at Beau Biden’s funeral is absolutely beautiful. Made me tear up.