Did I wake up in The Sound of Music this morning? Why are all these beautiful ladies wearing outfits made of curtains?

Yeah, but the Golden Globes is so completely up itself, it just annoys me. YOU DO NOT MATTER. At least the PCAs (literally no-one has ever called them that) have a sense of humour.

Worst Award Show Ever is a highly competitive field, too. I feel like the Golden Globes should at least get some of the credit for nominating The Tourist for best comedy/musical, best actress and best actor. THE FUCKING TOURIST.

I can't work it out - is that a crop top and a skirt, or a dress with a peekaboo in the middle, or a mesh panel, also is the sparkly thing attached at the back? ... HELP ME

I think the key is that everything she wears is immaculately cut and made - and perfect for her body. Her bust looks freaking awesome in this dress.

Her hair is also awesome. I love when women do that sort of textured pixie thing - my other favourite for it is Carey Mulligan.

Speaking as a young with similar upper leg issues, I heartily agree. Wear some ridiculous sky-high heels and I see no reason why it shouldn't work.

I knew a couple of people like this growing up. It's not about staying thin, they just genuinely don't care about food that much. Eating isn't a pleasurable activity in itself, it's just something you do. I can see how, if you're inclined that way anyway, it would be easy as a busy working person (with kids too) to…

I like to think they have a model home just for Instagram pictures. I'm imagining a plastic turkey on the dining table like in Arrested Development.

I'd never noticed before, but either his hands are massive or her head is tiny. It's kind of turning me on.

They also failed to recognise the 'ugly face' body type. Rank discrimination!

What's that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my ovaries humming.

This can never be wrong. That man is made of want. I LOVE HIM.

When Lisa's dad tells Alvey he's too old for her, I just thought - "Please, hotness knows no boundaries of age. That man is a goddamn MONUMENT."

Oof. Luke Cafferty's all growed up... and is that the mayor from Parenthood?

The reason I like Cookie Monster is that he's so passionate about what he loves that he doesn't have time for manners and reasoning all the other nonsense of boring grown-up life. One of the great things about being a kid is you have the time and energy to get completely engrossed in a hobby or interest and devote all…

Everything about cat-calling just freaks me the fuck out. Random men making sexual comments and impinging on my bodily autonomy in the street? Umm... nope! Sometimes living in a town with 5,000 people is absolutely the worst, but sometimes it's also the best. Standard cat-calling response in my town: "Tell your mum I…

Can someone please explain to me this thing with blonde women and country music? I'm 100% serious.

I like that the shaving shouldn't be obvious; it shouldn't look like you've made a special effort.

What beautiful delicate ladyfingers he has...