you still have to sign up for the Ikea Family discount service

Hey, I got this party covered!

What’s a sloth doing at an aviary? Aren’t those for birds?

Did I stutter?

Phones have GPS. There’s no reason dispatch couldn’t know exactly where every unit is. Group text exists for mass-message distribution. Come at me, brah.

it’s pretty widely known

This isn’t a very insightful test. It’s basically “select anything, and you might have a problem.”

I mentioned that he needs to pay rent since he’s living with me full-time. He balked saying he’s not using that much electricity, gas, etc.

filthy rich beyond imagining and yet still resisted paying the ransom

a group of about 15 Dixie Freedom Riders were still huddled in a circle, puffing on cigarettes and preparing to drive a few miles north

actions which, she writes, believed meant that the loved her.

Why do you hate drop-down menus, bro?

signatures on a digital petition

He loves ... 23-year-old blonde women

He retired in 2015 and now works ...

Never, ever, use the Boston property market as an example of how things should be done. The bubble can’t burst soon enough.

Fuck your “property values.” Money isn’t everything. Being happy at home is priceless.

Pierce Morgan

Isn’t it great? It’s for people who actually like using the internet.

You hate HOA’s what?