Did. You. Bother to read the article? Of course not.

New Leaf.

Fail. No Prius. 

Couldn’t be any worse.

I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR.

Shiver me timbers, matey! They sucked!

Uh, scramjets and ramjets would like to politely disagree with you.

No log tables too? No wonder that slide rule was mystery!!!

No, no. Steal 10 million and you are a savvy businessman with cutthroat sensibilities. Be any color other than white while doing that and you will be doing serious time in butt-jail.

How does one fire a dog from it’s job of being a dog? “Dog, you are fired, go be a cat or sumthin’.”

Atlanta said he was Mexican.

I... had no idea you could be kicked out of the clan. Well, except for maybe not paying dues and not keeping your sheets white enough and oh, maybe BEING BLACK. I am learning new things everyday.

If North Carolina keeps this up they will out-Oklahoma Oklahoma.

All you had to say was Jaguar. Any words beyond that are superfluous information.

Prime rib is absolutely something you need to cook medium-rareish. I would have refused and left it at that.

That looked pucker perfect. Woulda taken me a few days to unpucker myself if that was me.

Funny, that’s the way I read it too.

He attended the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

OFF TO SIZZLER WITH YE. GOOD DAY, SIR.

Counterpoint: Those assholes should only be allowed to dine at Golden Corral and Sizzler. Get tha fuk outta hea with that well-done sheeit.