That's actually pretty funny.

Welcome. We hope your stay in Chez Kotaku goes well.

So plants and birds and rocks and things? Getting larger?

Indeed.

At first glance I thought that was a picture of Kristen Wiig. But then I read the headline and looked at the picture again.

Yeah. I know someone else that got it, and they said it wasn't fun.

Seems that way.

I laughed pretty hard, but that’s because I find the “glue eating” bit funny.

You realize it's a joke, right?

At this point I want to know the version exclusives so I know which one I want to buy. Have there been any words on that front?

Nope.

Yep. He’ll sense a disturbance in the Force and next thing you know it’ll be: All the news that’s fit to make you say “FUCK KONAMI!”

Well, Castlevania and Contra would sell if they'd actually make new ones.

Exactly. If that’s true, then I have a little island called Australia to sell you.

HIT THE LEVER!

Here’s my response to Konami:

I kicked his ass with the grass starter and he went home crying like a like a baby. It was hilarious.

Patch fix is easy, but it took me a while to understand the instructions because I’m not great with that stuff, but here was my fix:

Baghdad Bob? Wow, I almost completely forgot about him. What a blast from the past.

I know, right? I’m surprised. They’ve actually had a few decent ones recently. It's wierd.