Good. That Clay Matthews is such a thug.

Better picture

I live nowhere near the area, but as a kid there was nothing more electric than seeing Barry carve defenses like every Sunday was thanksgiving. It was nice to see Calvin doing the same (when healthy, and even when not being the second? best receiver in the league). It’s a goddamn shame. While I respect your fortitude,…

Fuck the Lions. The franchise is so fucking awful that all-time greats would rather retire than play for that dumpster fire. Since the NFL is in relocation mode, can it consider a Lions move to Syria?

My childhood fandom of football was moored to Barry Sanders, and his surprise retirement turned me away for years. Knowing this, there's some fucking crushed as shit kids out there that can't realize that the reason they can't watch their favorite player anymore is because the Lions may not only be cursed, doomed, and…

They waste all of their talent, period. Name any non-franchise QB team in the league where Stafford would not have developed at least to the point of successful contribution. He's no Brady, but should have had better than the tire fire that is the Lions.

If ‘Megatron’ keeps his word, that leaves his career numbers as follows: 83* touchdowns on 731* receptions for 11,619* yards.

Leave it to the Lions to completely crush the joy out of one of the best RBs and one of the best WRs to ever play the game. So much so that each would rather retire than continue playing. Well done Detroit.

Detroit Lions doing what they do best. Wasting once in a lifetime talent in to a bottomless pit.

Caldwell responded to the announcement with a stare into the middle distance.

My guess: Concussion plus all the bullshit “This is a catch, this isn’t.” game-rigging which has become synonymous with Johnson the last couple of years.

Not Tate you equally uniformed goober. It's Glover Quinn

That’s not Calvin Johnson in that picture. Aren’t you the same Deadspin writer who thought Kenny Smith was Greg Anthony?

Megatron, asked why he was retiring, responded, “I just don’t like the direction Michael Bay is taking with the franchise.”

I don’t have any friends. Stop making assumptions, dipshit.

Johnson technically is not allowed to retire. He is locked into a two year contract on my fantasy football team and you better believe I will take him to court if he refuses to play.

J.J. Redick, who today blew a bunny

No, the porno title for LOTR is Lord of the Cock Rings.

I’m sorry but ‘Ring Squad’ just sounds like a terrible porno title.

Fucking people man. Their characters ARE NOT REAL! WTF is wrong with people.