Follow the logical trail/fractal:

THEIR CALLED FLAG PINS YOU COMMUNIST SOCIALIST AND YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU WEREN'T SO BUSY HELPING HILLARY ROTTEN CLINTON HIDE HER EMAILS…
—Everyone's "distant" relatives on Facebook

Like last week, Chris Matthews was the star here, lobbing stream-of-consciousness questions at the other two faster than a haunted tennis machine.

I too will miss Obama, though his legacy might be defined as much by the outright hostility of the Republican party to his presidency as his presidency itself.

"I love the poorly educated!"
—Quote made by no President in history.

Don't forget that Paul Manafort, Trump's top advisor, has made his living "softening" the image of multiple right-wing oligarchs all over the world. His involvement in the Ukrainian election of Viktor Yanukovych—Putin's Ukrainian puppet—is the biggest of red flags. But explaining facts to Trump supporters is not a…

The mustard masks the taste of TONS of old, stale white-bread.

This is the DNC's chance to roll out a "non-traditional" condiment bar with every possible topping—small victories count too. You want two hotdogs in one bun? Check. You want two buns and no hotdog? Check. Gluten-free and Vegan everything. Every time something edible goes past that goddamn camera with anything other…

Hawk: "I'll set fire to your face and put it out with an AXE!!"

Most of these societies exist so that a sexually repressed man-baby can put his dick into something/anything in front of his friends. Prime example: David Cameron and pig.

Don't forget the newest set of Encyclopedia Britainnica(2001 edition)!

Any future RNC songs should meet at least one of the following criteria:
1.) You must be able to do the "Charleston" to it.
2.) Any Jug-band music is perfect—though Emmet Otter wouldn't approve.
3.) It has to be funky/jazzy enough to make you forget that it is either written by or about the gays and their agenda(Pet…

I particularly enjoyed seeing that one celebrity I never thought of as a celebrity in the first place use every bit of their left-over "star-power" currency to get on stage and remind everyone about Jesus, The War on Christmas, and that Communist/Socialist Barack Hussein Obama.

I can forgive the guy for cramming ten "Q-P with C's" into his maw, but a FUCKING VANILLA MILKSHAKE? This guy must have Pica.

Truthfully? As little as possible.

Hannity is the master sommelier of Republican fart-sniffers. Possessing no understanding or appreciation of logic/debate, he is merely the loose sphincter of the Republican Talking-Points Shit-Show. At the end of the day's news cycle, a Hannity viewer needs to feel the warm spray of illogical, digested bull-shit on…

I'm a fan of Champion: The Drinker, though I much prefer Choo Choo the Herky-Jerky Dancer.

He's so entertaining, even when he's not feeling the improv. He's at his best when he's calling out the questionable decisions of his partners, forcing them to fully commit to whatever abomination they've unwittingly created.

This mission has a psy-ops secret ending in which you can convince Busey's"Dark-Side Lower-Companion" to kill him for you. He's in the back room—the one with the balloons.

I prefer to watch dogs eat potato chips. They chew those things so goddamn fast, the crunching sound doesn't sync with their mouth movements. It's like a ventriloquist act, only funny.