I’m a happy and quiet agnostic usually, but this election has just made me want to climb to the highest rooftop and shout “I DON’T KNOW ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY!!”

WWJD? Plotz.

So to recap:

Elliott say Thompson was never even his girlfriend, just someone he hooked up with before. All the girlfriend talk comes from her end.

Damn, how did they xerox text messages? Every time I try that it just prints out black.

90% of the people that read deadspin just want to make funny jokes in the comments.

Can you really enjoy Wheat Thins, though? I mean, what are your qualifications to show satisfaction when eating Wheat Thins? I think your views on Wheat Thins are problematic, and flaunting your non-Celiac privilege is just disgusting. Do you think you couldn’t get Celiac Disease? Are you immune from it? Typical.

Let me just say, as someone who has never suffered physical abuse of any kind and someone who would like to stay out of the fallout that seems to happen in the comment sections underneath these stories...

See, this is what corruption looks like. For real. Straight-up bribery and illegal donations and shit.

Dear Lord: please keep Pulisic free of injury and the MLS. Amen.

“No one can make that commitment.”

I mean, shit, driving a horse is a sport, so might as well.

Driving an RV is sports, imo

If frozen OJ goes away, how will I corner the frozen OJ futures market?

Often hinted at but never confirmed, there are cults west of Route 81 in Virginia that worship beast of prey that do not have teeth or beaks. In honor of such beasts, members of the cults remove all their teeth, and refer to themselves as the Gummies. Recently, the Pulaski Yankees ran a Gummy Bear promotion, which was…

FWIW: his Mom Julie retweeted the tweet about the hammy.

It doesn’t normalize it. It makes the dogwhistles and racist symbolism explicit. Which is the opposite of normalizing it. The reason that moderate Republicans could do things like talk positively about the Confederate flag was because there was an ambiguity - a thing where the racist implications of a lot of symbols…

Counterpoint: Slides/mules/clogs are the worst, and no one should wear them.

I know what you mean. I met a nice girl when I was in Taiwan. The main reason I never pushed our relationship beyond just being friends dispite the fact that she was incredibly beautiful and had a sexy Polish accent was the smoking. According to her, in Poland where she was from many people smoked and it was nbd…

Lucky for him it’s not an STI.