He doesn’t. Look at the inside of a tomato. It’s crazy in there.

“I’m sure THIS TIME we’ve figured out the exact right attitudes to hold for the rest of eternity and don’t need to change anything.”

“Wilford Brimley In A Spaceship That Is Comedically Small And Also His Head Sticks Out Of The Top And He Makes Spaceship Engine Noises With His Mouth The Whole Time” is my dream movie.

I got that far....and did it one better. I beat it at the height of the popularity.

I was thinking I couldn’t really see him as Sivana, then I remembered.

For get about it, Devil, it’s Muslimtown

Scarcely my sole takeaway. However, this is one of the rare cases where I could understand a mealymouthed release along the lines of “I am saddened by suchandsuch.” Given the corporate dynamics at work, though, his brother’s announcement reads less as a condemnation of abusive behavior, than as a power play for what’s…

I imagine it like putting a slip of hourglass-shaped jade-green silk over someone’s first attempt at candle-making.

We have conquered Christmas and made slaves of its inhabitants. Now, on to Arbor Day!

It’s almost as though the Christian Right made a deal with the... with someone. Someone bad? Darn it, this is right on the tip of my tongue.

They cut out the subplot where Wonder Woman meets a member of the British secret service named Thomas Pennyworth. Together, they rescue a captured American POW named Alan Wayne. Alan is so grateful that he decides to name his son “Thomas” and promises to offer employment to any future Pennyworths who would seek the…

Can we just agree that pretty much everyone appointed by Trump is going to be dismissed, fired, or jailed in the next 8-10 months, whether it be for illegal activity, collusion, corruption, or outright stupidity?

He’s, what - leaving on a jet plane? Don’t know if he’ll be back again?

You don’t have to tell me. Every time I see Tom Cruise, I think: “Yep, that’s a real bottom right there.”

He’ll be EGO, the living planet!

They’re really givin’ it to that Steven Seagal guy. He must work there or something.

Senator Rock please stop tweeting photos of you grabbing your crotch.

All the things.

I am predicting beards will be allowed by the end of 2018.

Michael Palin has made it very clear through his attorneys that you are to keep 500 feet away from him at all times.