Well, it doesn’t take a genius to tell you that pumping a bunch of 5G reproducing nanobots into your body is going to make part of it go paralyzed. 

We’re all addicted to cheap hydrocarbons. As taxpayers, we’ve doled out many billions of dollars per year in subsidies for oil companies for many years.  We asked for this.

Given that he looks like a Danny McBride character, the NASCAR thing definitely works.

Clogging up the passing lane.

Thank you for the context!  She looks like a dog on a leash.

That picture would be a terrifying viral sensation if were shopped to have some fur (or hair) where the rind is.

Stream of consciousness:

The Chevy 2.2 liter that I had in a 1995 S-10 was easily the very worst engine that I ever owned, and quite possibly the very worst engine ever made. I hated everything about that engine (its diesel sewing machine sound, its stupendous lack of power, and its freeze plugs that somehow rusted out despite regular…

“I’m sorry. I thought that I was just hallucinating again.”

Whose excrement would she be spitting and throwing?

I’m pretty sure that’s a Lambo, bro.

Maybe she can be Dumbfuckistan’s Health Czar when we finally do the right thing and break apart this untenable union.

You mean one of its parents left it there on purpose?

I was going to write about how great the Mach-E is, but I’m once again not allowed to do that where it’s relevant.  

Given that they couldn’t even sell their version of the Outback, I (sadly) doubt that they’ll bother trying to sell this here.

Hackers/party strategists... It’s a very fine line

Why do they look so sad?

Maybe he just really hates LaToya Jackson?

Wait, are you saying the cashier is being insincere?

“Of rich white men, by rich white men, for rich white men” just wasn’t marketable enough to inspire the masses.