Dude: Ok well then it's bullying.

Honest question: If you think we're so awful, why the hell do you keep reading?

I can't lie: I checked out as soon as I hit the word "cuddle" in the first bullet point. "Cuddle" is the "moist" of relationship words. *cringes*

What a lucky baby that's going to be! I have three words: pump, pump, pump. My daughter couldn't nurse due to low muscle tone and a month-long hospitalization during which she wasn't allowed to take anything by mouth. I started pumping early and often - like every two hours often. All that pumping stimulated a hell of…

Sleep with one eye open, because once she gets a taste for your flesh, there's no turning back.

Hi there- I'm about to deliver and my pediatrician actually told me not to eat the placenta because it contains hormones that can keep your milk from coming in (losing the placenta at birth is one of the things that activates your milk). Just make sure to ask around and good luck!

SHE WANTS TO EAT MY PLACENTA.

I'm stuck on the "hippies herbs you can take to make the boob juice happen" I've never heard of this. My mom is a lactation consultant and I'm not claiming I"m an authority on breast feeding but I'm genuinely curious what could possibly make that happen.

Give it some thought! For you at least. My friend reckons that eating the placenta (she took it in pills every day) helped her hormones settle much better after her second birth than after her placenta nutrition-less first birth. It couldn't hurt. I don't know if it would do anything for your wife, except give her…

"...marriage is basically figuring out how much weird you can love in another person."

I mean, that's like the most metal expression of love I've ever heard of, so I'd say you did good! Good luck with the baybay.

Understandable. We've all gone down the internet school of medicine hole a few times.

When my wife was preggo with our first child, her midwife suggested that she eat the placenta and my wife just started laughing. The midwife was like WHAT? IT HAS NUTRIENTS and my wife was like BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOPE YOU EAT IT

Like, eat your placenta but don't be lying about how you can't taste your HUMAN MEAT SMOOTHY because guava.

There is no legitimate medical reason for her to do this. It probably won't hurt her, but any "benefits" will be 100% in her head. She should probably step away from the internet for a bit, though.

*phew*

i don't see anything weird about placenta pills (my friend did them with her second baby and felt amazing, after her first one she said being hit by a truck would be less painful) but taking someone else's placenta pills is where I draw the line. Just noooooooooooooooooooonopenopenope

that might self correct after she SEES the placenta. Then you can have a nice oatmeal cookie and pretend it never happened.

Wellll....allegedly it helps with milk supply, so there's some logic to her having some if she also wants to breastfeed. I did the capsules and definitely had an abundance of milk and a great transition to motherhood (no PPD or mood swings even, lots of energy, lots of milk) but then I have only the one kid so I can't…

I heard that drinking beer can help promote lactation. You might want to investigate that option. LOL!