Really? Ugh. I mean, have you ever seen a placenta?

My wife and I are trying to have a baby. I'll be carrying the little gremlin (we're lesbians YAY) and she is planning on breastfeeding (with me). There are some hippie herbs you can take to make the boob juice happen, apparently. Anyway, she tells me the other night that not only does she think I should eat the…

Here's hoping everyone McDonnell meets in prison has a more progressive view on consent and bodily autonomy than he does.

I'm surprised we didn't hear a sizzle or see smoke when his sun-beaten, inferno skin touched her ice cold body.

FUCK. Why do old dudes always think you want to kiss them? WE DIDN'T WANT TO KISS YOU WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG. WE DO NOT WANT TO KISS YOU NOW.

How ironic, Mark. On Jezebel's patented Shrayber Index, where 1 is vaginal discharge and 4 is rosebudding (is that a verb?), this story gets a 2, also. (The header image gets a 3.5, though.)

He did that on a cruise ship?? Those people make your food all week. They even knew what time he was coming in for dinner. I cannot even imagine what kind of bodily fluid-filled revenge he endured that week at the hands of thos disgruntled servers...

I stole your pen. I'm willing to entertain a ransom. Tell me more about those drugs.

How about the "We used to get high together in college and now that we are adults (and less high) I've discovered you are kind of an asshole and I don't much like you as a person" friendship? I've got one of those.

I got drunk on corn whiskey at my office's holiday party. I was home for 5 minutes before my wife made me sleep on the couch (her quote "You smell like cigarettes and a backwoods hooker". The next morning I woke up stark naked wearing nothing but Christmas socks. In an apparent attempt to cook (or maybe blow up my…

She gives me so much hope for the future of our battered and broken world. God bless her.

I am all in. It's amazing what can happen when you get a person who can act to direct other people (who can also act).

huh... I kind of expected her boobs to look less... like that.

This is way better if I imagine Peter Pan is actually a woman (I'm calling her Patty), and there is a lesbian love triangle between Wendy and Tinkerbell. HAWT.

Danielle Brooks is stunning. Why is she not in more stuff? I want see her in more stuff. Give her some time off, Jenji.

Perfect!

This is a great one.

I have no idea who this fuckrag is, but I've been following these stories and I'm curious: are there any photos that exist of him where he isn't mugging for the camera? Jezebel has done like 3 stories and in every one he is always smiling, dressed well on a red carpet or something. No one has a photo of him in…

Whoa... You just blew my mind.

This. Right here.