Who the fuck bothers with shaving cream? I shave in the shower, get my neck and lower face nice and wet, turn around to face the mirror we have hanging in the shower, and go to town. I’m right-handed, so I start on my left and work my way to the right, then go back over areas that might have been missed in the first…

are you fucking kidding me with this comment

If you’re ever the friend in a steak sandwich lady type situation, you seriously need to stop the ordering and ask your friend what the fuck is so confusing. Your server can’t say it, so do everyone a favor and try to figure out why your friend is being so stupid.

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

Thanks, I see now you said that in your post but I missed it.

I recommend taking your pants off entirely for a dump in any situation where you can take your time, long as they’ve got a coathook in the stall.

I give my guys a long-ass lunchbreak. I’m assuming they drink (I certainly do)

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

Cut to our food being delivered 10 minutes later...every single item is totally correct, true to what we ordered. To this day, we have no idea how.

My face at least once every BCO post. Thank you pee cup kid.

And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

“EAT YOUR SHAME CREATIONS IN SOLITUDE LIKE THE REST OF US, FREAK!”*

JUST. HIT. REWIND.