“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

This.

You gotta do it like an an adult who is tired of all these damn teenagers on the lawn.

Maybe 17-year-olds applying to out-of-state colleges shouldn’t be playing games where they ignore calls from area codes they don’t recognize, considering the person on the other end is literally trying to change their life for the better.

How old were these other assholes? You and the new guy should have shamed them. That’s expensive booze. You enjoy it whether you like it or not!

wut? are you waving your towel around like a damn maniac? Because I can’t think of a single time my towel has gotten soaked from drying off in the shower, which I’ve done for the past 30 years.

The fact that someone has a “bedroom towel” is one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read on Gawker media.

In related news, the Vatican Cinnabon franchise, PapalBon, has seen a 60% increase in web traffic.

Let's be honest: how disappointed would YOU be if you expected a server to deliver an entire NET of crabs and then get nada?