Like throwing a hotdog down a bowling alley.

This is going to be hard to deal with.

There isn't much worse than a lack of vim.

Are YOU in good hands?

Now you've done it.  I'm laughing so hard, tears are rolling dow…OOF!

No, Wheel of Fortune.

Yeah, but first he shot off Jack's arms.  Bonus!

Two words:  Tim Hortons.

Get rid of the Oscars.  That solves the "who will host" issue.

Before too long, Mr. Burr will be looking like Iron Maiden's album covers.

I can smell your cunt.

Since we're making demands, I would also like a light saber.  And one of those land speeders.

Listen to yourselves.  Butternut squash does NOT belong in a taco, burrito, or any other Mexican food.

Ahem.  Samoas.

Go ahead.

You can't HANDLE the truth!

I don't have a foot fetish, but I have sucked a couple women's toes.  They enjoyed it quite a bit, and as a consequence, I got a bit of reciprocal enjoyment myself. 

And eloquent, to boot!

Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive!

Leave Bieber-y alone!