"It's called 'My Boobs Are Down Here: Laughing and Aging and
Raging and Laughing.'"

Jimmy Pesto: "You shoot a T-shirt at a guy like a girl!"

"Looks like a fine, wet, almost naked version of dad?"

"Is it safe for a kid to fall off a second floor balcony like that?"
"It's fine. Millie trained for weeks for that fall."

"Wait, what mythology is this?"
"Uh, it's kind of a mishmash. Greek, Roman, Pokémon, Tex-Mex. You know.
"Sure, sure."

"Wow, it's good to be young, huh?"
"I'm 49."
"Oh my god…I have to start working out."
"Yes you do."

"No one’s looked this good on a door since Kate Winslet in Titanic!"

"Just imagine yourself inside the planetarium having an amazing climax!"

T.G.I.B.
Thank God It's Bob

“I lost the year 1996 to schnapps. I still don’t know what the Macarena is. But don’t tell me! I’ll figure it out!”

"Oh my God, that was horrible."
"Terrible."
"You made everyone so uncomfortable."

"Heroin conference? What do you mean, like a jazz concert?"

"What would you call a weekend long empowerment gathering for girls with speeches from important female leaders?"
"Sex and the City 3."

"Maybe your next candy should be called 'Betrayal Brittle'! Or something that has the word 'Betrayal' in it, because you're all experts at betrayal! Betrayal Mix!"

"What am I supposed to do?! I mean, her first name is 'Evil!'"

"Ok, Mr. Business, pep talk. Listen, first of all: haters gonna hate, and there's nothing you can do about that."

"Shelly's your mom?"
"She's your mom! Nah, she's my mom."

"This is the worst episode of 'The O.C.' ever."

"I changed my mind about having kids. I'm gonna have one, and feed it to this bear!"

"I know about the sting."
"Oh, crap…did you just kiss my ear?"
"That was an accident."