Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

Nice. A minor suggested adjustment from someone who spends about eleven hours a day thinking about alliteration:

I’m starting to think Victor Krum was probably a racist.

You can’t turn down a player with that much SWAG.

I mean, rough start for Strasburg though. (By the standards of this series) he got absolutely rocked. Dude didn’t even carry a no-hitter into the MIDDLE innings. 

My dudes, you have killed Splinter, you laid off a bunch of cool journalists, I have even stuck with you through your auto-play video ads that kill my YouTube video playing in the background, but if you don’t stop these ads that auto-forward my ipad to some “install flash player now!” website with no back button so I…

It was a private account, and she’d only granted access to people she considered trustworthy friends. This would be like someone sharing information from a group chat among friends and family, and then you coming along and saying “wELl tHeN yOu sHoUlDn’T hAvE cONveRsAtiOnS wITh pEoPlE yOu tRuSt!!”

Eh, posting things to a locked, private social media account restricted to trusted friends and family is not meaningfully different from sending an email to a private mailing list, or just talking to a group of close associates around a dinner table. It’s fine to expect those people to keep what they hear private, and…

5 minutes from the blog being posted to victim blaming, solid work

I live in Canada, and I know her. A lot of us know her

This data sounds a lot like my girlfriend. You wouldn’t know her, she lives in Canada.

After that press conference, DeTrumpeau acknowledged there was a corruption problem in Washington, but, of course, not one that involved him in any way. “A lot of it’s the Deep State bureaucrats. A lot of it’s the Democrats,” he said. 

Some PGA pros have attitude problems, some are chuds, some are rude to fans, and some are addicted to gambling and adultery. But when it comes to shafting the game of golf, Bryson DeChambeau has only one way to do it.

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

I definitely don’t want to include 2003, because that would be sixteen completed seasons- I don’t want to go all “how many days are there in a week” here, but you can count them on your fingers. And I’m not going to include 2004 either, because a) it’s my arbitrary endpoints, dammit, and I will manipulate the data as…

the 90-yarder is the best because Williams had the safety lined up per usual 20 yards back and Odell still ran by him like the safety was Gregg and Odell was a head coaching job

The Colts had #1 and #2 overall in 1991.  They picked Steve Emtmann and Quentin Coryatt.  Multiple championships ensued.

Our reality has gotten so twisted and buttfucked, that I would not be surprised if the Steelers and Dolphins finish with the two worst records, allowing the Dolphins to pick 1 and 2 in 2020.