Or the economy crashed because he stopped winning Majors.

Think about it.

I’m delighted for him. My former BiL caddied for him once, and said he was one of the nicest players he’d met – and he’s caddied on the European and US tours!

/A tradition unlike any other. Dammit

Ease up there Sugar Plum

To celebrate, I’m buying as much cocaine and as many hookers as I can. As is tradition.

Jim Nantz was doing his best to get El Tigre to cry. “Just tell us how it feels. And I mean how it really feels. Deep down in your soul. Think of your kids. And your deceased father. How does it feel? Just tell us."

i didn’t just tear up, YOU just teared up 

That was the most fun I’ve had watching golf since...uhh...

Once I get married, I’ll never have to jerk again. Me at 12. 

Stop trying to make slightly more gritty Michael McDonald a thing.

The guy who thinks you stop jerking off at 50 is like 18 max right? Man, what a stupid question.

you can tell he’s a great teammate because he doesn’t use “All By Myself” as a walk-up song

5 HRs and 5 runs scored. Got on base (at least) 7 other times and none of the other puds on his team could bring him home. Look at this shit!

He is unquestionably the best player in the game, and has been every year he’s played, which is why he’s won the MVP every season. Or at least he has in the alternate universe where I live, in which sportswriters aren’t morons.

All these counting stats. I want to know the really important stats, like how many wars he has won so far this season. 

Huge if true.

Y’know, I’m starting to think this guy might be pretty good.

People would hate Gwyneth a lot less if she was as much Pepper Potts as RDJ is Tony IRL. She is wonderfully charming in the role.

Nah, it just wastes Anthony Hopkins, Chris O’Dowd and Christopher Ecclestone.

Yeah, that and when she asks Coulson about the bomb he attaches to the door of Stane’s lab “Oh, wow! What’s that? It’s, like, a little device? It’s, like, a thing that’s going to pick the lock?”