MONKEY SHINES?

Ethan Hawke staring down a shotgun in the bathtub = the best scene he's ever going to be involved with.

Yep. It got better once the horror kicked in, but never really caught fire. The "rules," as they were, were never clearly explained, and the ending was bad vague. As the review rightfully notes, there was a moment during the attack in the attic where things looked like they might go Evil Dead 2 bonkers, but the…

REALLY surprised at how legit that scene was.

100%. And it causes the performers to pause for applause, highlighting the moment.

And as having produced one of the blandest, dumbest blockbusters of all time.

It's what Ms. Claus gets when she has her period.

In all honestly, you'd be hard-pressed to beat the American Dad Krampus. That's a classic episode that really nails the character.

Is this review a clobbering? I'm saying that Lee continues to churn out half-assed work, but most of the reviews sound like this one: "It's a jumbled mess of shit, but worth your time because Spike Lee!"

He's also the same ding-dong that showed a group of young kids Aliens without getting their parents' permission first, and then acted like an entitled cock about it.

Well said. Dude is a major choach.

Because Max Landis sold his soul the devil. It's the only way to explain how his half-baked, totally derivative scripts keep getting made.

What is the point of this article, seemingly a second review of a crap movie? Are you friends with Max Landis, trying to help pull his fat out of the fire? Or a paid shill for the studio trying to save a dead property?

In many ways this review represents the coddling that has helped to undermine Lee's career. Too often people are willing to give him a pass on shit movies because his heart and mind are in the right place. "It's not fun to watch, but it makes a good point." Fuck that.

I've seen Chappelle twice, and the reason you need your cell phone is so you have something to do after the first hour. I got up to leave, and he's like "Where you going?" and I'm like "I gotta piss?" and he's like, "Why you gotta speak so harshly? 'I GOTTA PISS!' it's like you're mad at me or something!!" Everybody…

Eat a fat dick, pops.

With Dave Chappelle, you know he's going to be on stage for three hours, but you know you'll be ready to go after the first hour and half.

I read the real message was
W-O-R-S-H-I-P-Y-O-U-R-D-A-R-K-L-O-R-D but Ralphie had a learning disability.

George Lucas said "let there be CHINS," and there were, and they were wiggly.

What about that goddamned CGI singing lady in Jabba's lair? Also known as Lucas' single worst addition (even worse than Greedo shooting first and the goddamn "across the universe" celebration).