thecolonelmc--disqus
The Colonel
thecolonelmc--disqus

The only redeemable part of the prequels is the last 30 minutes of Revenge of the Sith, and that's because they FINALLY get around to telling the story they want to tell.

Wrong, they're shit. Literally HOURS of exposition broken up by scenes of people coming and going. COMING AND GOING is the ONLY fucking action that occurs for huge swaths of time. Why show us something when you have yet another expository conversation in front of a green screen? It's horribly tedious.

Hi! Most oldschool emulators suck because arcade games often had their own personalized controllers. Even a game like Galaga, which can be played with an at-home joystick, is never going to be the same experience because you can't fire as quickly, and with the same precision. Games like Defender or Centipede or

He must be if his first move was to introduce old school arcade games. The nothing that says "immersive reality" like 8-bit, two dimensional videogames.

It is. Xmen is the same so-so movie each time (except part 3 and the last one, which were exceptionally shitty), and the characters hit the same goddamn notes, and the movies aren't that clever, and if I see James McElvoy touch his fucking forehead one more time!

Oh thank christ! I had so many unanswered questions after the last Xmen movie, and I've been experiencing a real dearth of superhero movies.

Funny, I don't remember anything about seeing the Phantom Menace except (i) pooping my pants when the Star Wars logo appeared, (ii) realizing after a few minutes that something was off, and (iii) stumbling out into the bright Tempe, Arizona sunlight feeling more bummed than I'd been in months.

I'm not denying that, I think NBK is his best (although U-Turn is a very, very guilty pleasure, too).

Damn, needs a hard return or two, but otherwise a CRACKIN post!

When has Oliver Stone ever hectored the audience about on-screen violence?

Sort of like your lack of commas.

It hides the ultimate treasure! It's no fun when someone just hands you a present, you want that shit wrapped up so you get to open it! Circle circle triangle!!

I have lots of serious, angry problems with parts 2 and 3, but my biggest gripe is: Why does Neo continue to participate in kung-fu battles. We know from the end of part 1 he can beat anything inside the Matrix, and he can run away from anything, so could easily choose to either (i) end the fight with his first

Edgy.

I thought it raised the question of whether casting an Indian is really necessary, if a white dude could do it without anyone really noticing.

And he also banged Michelle Phieffer!?

Does it assassinate his character? I thought it mythologized it, and presented him as an actual poet and dreamer who just also had serious substance control problems.

They're too busy posting on instagram and listening to whatever their stream feeds them to care about finding specific music.

Right! They write the music, they perform it. Just like they do NOW, just together with other people.

I've never understood why people hate the Doors movie. It's right up there with Natural Born Killers for Oliver Stone self-indulgent insanity, with all the wild edits and innovative camera work. Sure, you want to throttle Val Kilmer, but then you kind of wanted to throttle Jim Morrison, too.