Watch the movie and that bull will kick your laughs back into your piehole.

Four different Dad's whats?

Well, look what a smug fucker you are, taking credit for something your great-great-Grandfather did. I mean, you probably deserve a slap irrespective of where you're from.

The whole track's disco, man, that's why it's so popular!

No mention of the different "son of a bitch" / "son of a gun" versions of the track?!

Agreed: you damn well know it's Tom Cruise. But Pine, that dude from Tron 2, Worthington—pretty sure they're all the same dude, or maybe CGI.

It's the Sam Worthington effect. Better to include an extremely bland white guy that no one can even recognize (because he's so bland and white) rather than including a real person about which people might have negative opinions.

James Marsden was hilarious on Modern Family, btw.

Damn I had to scroll a long way down here to find a single mention of Chris Pine. The review doesn't mention him at all—probably not the best outcome for a movie where he plays the title character.

Team Shirley if on Mute.

Roy Choi came off like a contrarian doofus. He's dressed like a child and then insists none of the food is any good? Really bro, it all sucked? Find that kind of hard to believe when some of the worlds best chefs have been praising these folks (some of whom have Michelin stars, not just food trucks) all season long.

Say what? Gail's my aunt; Padma is white-hot awesomeness on a platter. I'd drink a small cup of pee to get to hang with her for a few.

I assume his mass condemnation was part of the script, but why would anyone agree to allow themselves to look like such a shitbag? I wasn't that enamored of him when I've seen him before, but now I'm firmly convinced he's a total DICK.

Hi, I'm here just to say: fuck Where the Wild Things Are forever in hell. I can't think of another adaptation I've hated so much, or anything, really, that's taken such a fat shit on a cherished childhood memory. Watching it was like watching Dumbo get gang raped.

Haha, I had blanked Scott Pilgrim from my memory—I guess my plan wasn't so effective after all. Here's hoping maybe Ant Man breaks the curse.

Wasn't funny, cliched characters, totally predictable spin, same tired editing and visual tropes of his earlier movies.

I thought it was shite and turned it off about an hour into it. The jokes were weak, the characters cliched and the directorial style just yet another rehash of what he's done many times before. Quick cuts! Smash, chug, empty glass on the counter!

Extremely boring nonsense.

Meh. If I never had to see or hear that fucking Gollum again it would be too soon. I was totally over his bullshit by the end of LotR, so seeing him here again was like a third term for Reagan. NO THANK YOU.

That's because it was good.