Watching pacifist Jimmy Carter just go apeshit on Trump would be immensely gratifying

“1. Beating out the catcher’s throw to first on a surprise bunt with two outs in the bottom of the ninth.” - Major League/Mr. Baseball

“The swamp will not defeat him,” he said, breaking into the third person. “They’re trying to resist me, but it’s not going to work.”

I think Kyrie has legitimate reasons to be pissed off at Lebron. Lebron thinks that the world revolves around him, which obviously isn’t true since the world is flat.

Derrick Rose is so broke down he doesn’t even have his thorn any more.

*receives pink slips*

“What if one of us is god?”

JAJAJAJA

If a car develops a mind, would we need to ask for consent before getting in?

I know someone who’s getting laid tonight.

im the guy who enthusiastically claps when the president of america blows an o-ring while jerking off a robot

He’s playing the long game, like Taft. Can’t get thrown out of the White House if you’re wedged in the bathtub.

No. I don’t care how much the guy sucks, I wouldn’t wish glioblastoma on anyone. It took my grandmother in six months and it’s awful.

Why can’t all teens be bitter, emotionally crippled, Tom Waits-loving alcoholics like I was at 17?

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

I’d be tempted to do one of these videos but make the color green and end the video by turning to the camera and saying, “We’re having a Velociraptor. We spared no expense.”

And then the screen goes black with a loud raptor scream from Jurassic Park.

“I said, did you do it? And he said no, I did not. Absolutely not. I then asked him a second time in a totally different way. He said absolutely not.”

I assume it wafts the other way in the Southern Hemisphere?

Wasn’t this already confirmed when Jerry Stiller showed up in the post-credits scene of the finale and asked Kevin to join his new initiative?

It is not a fake building. The building's bright windows is being used for motion tracking and it should give perfect motion tracking data as there is a huge contrast between black and white.
He has then used this motion tracking data and inserted it into one of his favorite 3d animation programs that he has probably…