I’d be tempted to do one of these videos but make the color green and end the video by turning to the camera and saying, “We’re having a Velociraptor. We spared no expense.”

And then the screen goes black with a loud raptor scream from Jurassic Park.

“I said, did you do it? And he said no, I did not. Absolutely not. I then asked him a second time in a totally different way. He said absolutely not.”

I assume it wafts the other way in the Southern Hemisphere?

you are fancy

Eyelashes courtesy of the notions department at JoAnn Fabrics.

Alcohol has calories. Coke doesn’t.

Hey, let’s not forget his seminal role as a zookeeper

The guy turned down a contract because the Reds wanted him to shave his mustache. That kind of dedication deserves recognition.

Wasn’t this already confirmed when Jerry Stiller showed up in the post-credits scene of the finale and asked Kevin to join his new initiative?

i miss colorado <sigh>

Funny you should post this, because it turns out that the very first time that trump mentioned Hillary’s emails was the very same day the trump jr. met with this russian lawyer for dirt on Hillary...

And also for what it’s worth, Smash Mouth dude twitted out this out during Pride month.

In all candor, if that kid had played that damn song THREE times, I would have bottled him.

So, Morrissey smashed his mouth?

So, as the result of an extended drunken dare, I actually have an oil painting of myself as Empress Josephine. I feel compelled to defend myself by saying I’m an oil painter, was in art school at the time and have always loved history. I’m a bit queasy, but at least mine is a joke and has *never* been shown publicly.…

Maybe he should cut himself open?

The Tesla was a huge upgrade for him. He used to get a new car every time he needed an oil change.

My windshield wipers are dull so I moved to Syria.

It is not a fake building. The building's bright windows is being used for motion tracking and it should give perfect motion tracking data as there is a huge contrast between black and white.
He has then used this motion tracking data and inserted it into one of his favorite 3d animation programs that he has probably…