Dear Scott, please stopissance.

Has-been visited by Ghost of Has-Beens Past.

Dr. Tremor: Here Come The Spiders

"It’s a different kind of drink with a unique taste all its own.”

Look, United just got its definition of "volunteer" from 12 Monkeys, that's all. It's a common mistake.

Hired goons?

*reads a copy of Volunteer's Life

2018:Year of the Stingwing

JIFFY LUBE HATES FREEDOM

Move with it if you need to. It helps me.

About 12,000 years ago, the first white person was born. With a trust fund.

Oh, this is great because just the other day I was thinking, "Gosh, I hope someone comes up with a way for me to give Comcast more fucking money sometime soon."

I saw this in high school. All I can remember is something about Adam Horovitz and Motel 9s.

It's only fitting to show due respect on this, the day of his daughter's wedding.

It's almost as if people who commit murder-suicides are not the world's most rational thinkers.

Did they get the bear?

I thought he stopped writing anything years ago.

Are you sure dignity wasn't the reason he bowed out of Short Circuit 2?

101 Penetrations.

I was about to post this. I guffawed audibly at work.