¡Ay, mi estomago!

The first part's true. Ick.

It's just about time for a nice, cold Mike's Hard Peach Lemonade.

I'm perfectly happy to have Mexicans pouring over the border in a torrent, but they can leave the beer because it's godawful.

Pictured above, my all time favorite use of the word posthaste.

I hope you didn't take their attempts to destroy you too seriously.

I am nacht participating in another pun thread.

Pocket CAN'Tulator

I mean TV's got a great fucking personality.

I can't take space suits with tits seriously.

You say that, but it actually went through 7 rewrites.

People are the worst.

Bruce Campbell on Fargo.

"You know, it hasn't been easy for a white man in America these last eight years."

Fuck this, I'm going back to bed. Someone come wake me when the first weed store opens in Boston.

Can we get a NSFW tag on this article, please?

Next we tackle the mystery of Droopy McCool's eyes.

The silver haze lining.

I personally never underestimate our citizens' capacity for racism, jingoism, and pride in ignorance, but it's always disappointing to have it so spectacularly demonstrated.

I haven't quite made up my mind, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get drunk as shit tonight.