This is clearly Manny Machado’s fault. 

I understand. Based on the article’s headline, I had hope that among yesterday’s roster moves the Mets had acquired a reliable reliever.

Pictured: Mickey Callaway

You said a lot of things

Doris Day loved that the beach at Carmel was dog-friendly, and it was her dying wish that Drew shit on it.

‘You can’t even beat your man. Just shut up and watch me.’

Nah it's when he went flying down a stadium staircase in a wheelchair, which technically was an Anaheim thing

I once lied about eating the last two Oreos in the package. My wife asked me if I’d eaten them and I said yes and she got mad. But I actually hadn’t eaten them yet. I lied about having already eaten them just so I could save them for later and eat them while she took our daughter to soccer practice. And then I ate…

windhorst has a horse in this race too.

which is the real message he’s bundling up in “blame me” platitudes

KD’s injury sounds really bad, but not as bad as the song James Dolan is going to write about it. 

The biggest takeaway here is that “B-B-B-Benny and the Mets” is now stuck in my head again. 

Worth it!

He probably typed that up on his phone while putting in his PIN number at the ATM machine

You can take the man out of the the Mets but you can’t take the Mets out of the man.

this is not even the most popular gif of Alex Len in warmups

They're just pigeons. 

Guys, I've found the pigeon.

Oh, my! i was there. that is the luckiest guy who ever lived, just because he lived! i tried looking him up a couple years ago and learned nothing good. his problems never went away. i was working that day at the track, and i saw him brought out back in handcuffs and it was very sad. how did he not get killed? That…