Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

At least for the last guy, sure.

+1 time Hannah Storm gets a break from this shit

“Hannah Storm is off today.”

“See this is why can’t let women around Italians.” - better advice

BRETT FAVRE WOULD PLAY IT TWICE A WEEK FOR FREE HE’S LIKE A KID OUT THERE

For sale: Browns jersey, never won.

“Cleveland faces the Bills next Sunday” was the first draft of Hemingway’s famous six-word story.

Only the Patriots (96) have given up fewer total punt return yards than the Rams (101).

I was alone in an elevator with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she farted. I was going to ignore it like a gentleman when she said “woah did somebody step on a duck.” We both laughed and she turned to me and said “no one will ever believe you if you tell this again.” She is one wise lady.

My wife and I were in VA Beach for a wedding. At the time she was 7 mos preggo. There was a golf tournament in town and some of the tour people were staying at our hotel. Long story short; We were entering the hotel and Earl Woods was in front of us. He let the heavy door slam in my wife’s face. He knew she was…

Dear Ina,

Two things:

Just vote Bagwell and Bonds in already.

Cute wedding hashtags: the latest in a long line of things I scorn for no reason.

Someone’s upset no one congratulated them on their new job...

Good for him, maybe we’ll run more than two different plays, with one play (Foreman off left tackle) constituting 80% of the calls. It’s weird to see an offense with 80% less variety in Game 11 than there was in Game 1 (Notre Dame) with a pass over the middle being a distant, distant memory.

The last time KU beat Texas in Football:

He didn’t attend his grandfather’s funeral—the same grandfather he once called before every game.

Petrino: “WTH! That isn’t what they were supposed to run!”