It sounds like this isn’t, though. I mean, is there an illusion at work? It sounds like it’s just a stunt with some visible protective gear.

The only time he was on my radar was when he and Fiona Apple were a couple. They were cute together. Everything was better in the 90's.

Ugh, David Blaine.

Breathe. It’s going to be okay.

Just don’t see him again. It’s really that simple, we’ve all been there made a bad call and decided after we didn’t feel great about the interaction that doesn’t mean anything bad about you. It’s ok to feel uncomfortable if you feel you were coerced but you aren’t bad and it’s ok, you’ll be alright just don’t see him…

I have been to two male strip clubs that I think I can safely assume were at the high (Moscow, Russia - ER/doctor themed!) and low end (Niagara Falls, NY - so, so much body oil) of the spectrum. Both experiences were non-ironic experiences that involved my companions getting shitfaced and then making out with each…

I mean I’m sure there are women who do that but I was a shooter girl and bartender in two strip clubs and *not once* saw any other group than the giggling, bachelorette party type. I don’t think it’s because women aren’t naturally attracted to a man dancing/seducing her, it’s that the male strippers are the tribal…

In that telenovela he’s the eldest son of a stern mustachioed patriarch whose heirs are locked in a heated, scheming struggle for power involving lots of blackmail, mistresses, faked deaths. He’d only fit in better if he had, like, an eyepatch.

We really hit the peak for bangable North American Heads of State this summer. Stephen Harper had been holding us back and now Trump has gone and ruined it.

Vicente.

I’m not building that fucken wall, you icehole.

Cruel. Cruel, cruel, cruel.

This is the darkest timeline. I’m wearing a mustache in honor of it.

It would be poetic justice if he starts building the fucken wall, asks Mexico for payment, then Mexico says “We don’t need to pay you; you got paid in so much publicity, believe me. You made so much!” the way Trump talks to his creditors.

War Never Changes

Could be worse:

I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU WHY I’M CRYING, ROLL OVER MOTHERFUCKER

Of all the towns from Fallout: New Vegas you could buy, Nipton?

Captain America was hip to this trend 15(?) years ago*

As a ball-haver, I’ll say this. Getting hit in the balls is awful. But if men are going to be bigger and stronger (generally, there are a lot of women that could kick my ass in a fair fight) then women absolutely should go after the balls when threatened. I taught my sister that, I taught my nieces that, and it’s the…