Nice. A drone story that doesn’t make me want to shoot down a drone. I think this could be used in disaster relief situations, too.

Yeah, but they rose to the occasion. And was it awesome to hear them referred to as superstars instead of divas.

Counterpoint: better than “Tamil Tiger’s Neighborhood”

Yeah I don’t know her.

That took me waaaaaay too long to figure. I’ll show myself out.

SO THIS WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG, EH? Butter us up with a switcheroo and then go in for the gimme-gimme. I’m disgusted. DIS-GUSTEDDD.

I’m gonna give me description to fuckin Jalopnik you bastards, and I don’t even LIKE cars.

Yes. Anyone who claims to have never shit themselves is probably lying, I’ve decided. I like to think we’ve all been that sick at some point.

Sweet god in heaven

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

So you’re like a switch hitting shitter

First time I broke my nose, I had no idea because I was a nose-picker as a child and bloody noses were a common occurrence.

Think of all the money you would have saved your parents had you just never tried.

“...as an anemic and noodle-bodied sloth with zero competitive instincts who was traumatized by the mere thought of physical discomfort...”

In the spirit of equality, let’s do a ranking of boobies.

Wow, you got them all right, in the correct order, the first time! Deadspin writers always fail at that.

I’m a huge fan of the ThinkGeek StarTrek alarm clock and ambient sound generator. Needs to be a real product, ASAP. 10/10 Would buy!

Bidi Bidi Bom Bom is the pump-up song for all activities in life.

8 successive “LOL”/“OMG”/“You’re going to hell” replies is what you get when Jezebel readers respond to Deadspin commenters reacting to Jezebel articles written by Deadspin writers.

It definitely doesn’t seem like my cup of tea, but losing a child is something so awful that I can’t bring myself to judge anything that might bring comfort.