What about bears? We’re supposed to get bears on Friday.

The pancake got a better tip than most IHOP employees.

how waffle

Who says USC isn’t an elite educational institution?????

saleing*

Getting 19 year old strange though. Could be worse.

What if I don't like blue cars?

That was my first thought, except the story said that the mistake was between them and Vanderbilt.

Rick Pitino reportedly impressed by their ability to stay in for ten minutes.

Theory: It’s part of the NCAA crackdown on weak-ass scheduling of nothing but high school-equivalents. Win 24 games thanks to the 300th toughest nonconference schedule? Not only will we not invite you, we’ll fucking rip your heart out with a crank call.

Are you really trying to give a toddler credit for “being CEO”? Seriously?

6th grade, but I was kind of advanced... I mean I never actually plotted anything dangerous, but I thought about how life would be infinitely better if _________ never crossed my path again.

Damn, I didn’t want to kill any of my classmates until the 9th grade.

lunchtime seaweed???

Well! I expect that kind of talk at Maryland or Syracuse, but not here!

These shoes, a pulse rifle and a 9 year old and I’ll finally be able to force my mother out of the airlock.

A big pile of rabid Jazz fans is also another way to describe an NPR fundraiser.

Or else you might end up at the bottom of a big pile of rabid Jazz fans.

Nah. Blues’ll pass Dallas, Dallas will blow its chance to beat the partially-Keithless Hawks and that assbag will be rested for round two with us. Because Blues.

First a headline that used “Woke” and now an article that uses “Stan” properly. Whats going on with Jalop? Ya’ll discovered Kendrick Lamar suddenly? (i love it actually)