Yup. The Bernie Bros were loud as fuck, but most of the ones I know didn’t even bother going to the polls. Until voting is available as a Facebook app, the dreadlocked college student contingent can be ignored.

Holy Ghost Spit Roast

A thousand dollars an inch? Is that the going rate?

It seems like if the goal is to convert dollars into WHATEVERcoin, and then convert that WHATEVERcoin back into dollars, then WHATEVERcoin is obviously not a currency. It’s more like a weird, fictitious commodity.

My brother does that. I have three college degrees and spent the first decade of my career working in higher ed, but obviously his Sirius Wingnut Radio habit has given him the REAL SCOOP on those LIBERAL INDOCTRINATION FACTORIES.

At some point during the game, my older son has to piss. If you have kids, you know that they NEVER take a pre-emptive piss at home and that they NEVER tell you they have to piss until it’s a full-on, Global Thermonuclear Piss emergency.

Thirty seconds before puck drop at every hockey game I’ve been to in the…

As in all elections, turnout determines results. And at this point, the old guy with the Gadsden Flag hanging in his garage will drive his Medicare scooter over broken glass to vote in the primaries, while Democrats and liberals don’t bother turning up without a Presidential race on the ballot. Same as always.

As seen on Twitter: “As a member of Generation X, I’ll be totally unsurprised if a nuclear war is started by a Boomer and a Millennial arguing over who is more important.”

As a septuagenarian fatass with a KFC addiction, “life” might not be that long.

We got a cake for signing up our 500,000th customer, and were all fired the next day. The Aristocrats!

Sadly, Buffalo doesn’t have a pro hockey team.

“What do you mean, I drafted ‘the other’ Adrian Peterson?”

Oh, the tape bandages. My grandpa damn near severed a finger with his scroll saw — just wrapped some electrical tape around it and kept on working.

That’s how I became a gin drinker.

That’s how I became a gin drinker.

Can you blame him?

Basketball is unique among our major sports in allowing coaches to dress like adults.

It’s going to be the Trumpiest thing ever if the only thing saving us from nuclear annihilation is the President’s aversion to facial hair keeping Bolton out of the administration.

As a former resident of University Heights, I assure you that whoever was setting things on fire probably didn’t even know there was a basketball game last night.

Hey, remember when the most embarrassing thing this fucktron had done was riding his horse to work? A more innocent time, that was.